What is success?

This topic has been in my mind for the last few days. Everytime when things don’t go the way I wish then I feel like a failure, a loser, totally unworthy. But, But, But, But!! I have learned the lesson of beating myself up. It does no good to nothing. If I still feel like living, I should not hurt myself. I won’t let my thoughts spiral me down the dark path, it’s tiring, I’ve been there, don’t feel like going there again. Then the thoughts stopped. Then instead I thought of what I have accomplished so far. Success never come overnight right? And if it does, this kind won’t last, the 15 minute of fame kind. If you hear an overnight success story that lasts more than 15 minutes, I’m almost certain it hasn’t been an overnight thing. It has been through a long, long process, rolling through many pain and tears and disappointment and falls and rises. So, when things don’t go the way I wish, then I tried to think back. Maybe my thoughts are way faster than the process. Maybe I haven’t done enough, there are things yet to complete to earn the “grand” success or whatever. But so far, I certainly have done more than yesterday. Every little accomplishment counts in this ongoing life resume. If you dismiss little things and only wait for the big thing to be worthy of noting it down, I think you will become so discouraged before even getting half way there. You probably would fold and curl back beating yourself. So it’s much better this way. Be proud of your accomplishments regardless of how small, don’t forget why you started it in the first place. Don’t get lost in the destination that you lost track of where or why or how you began. Find the love in what you do again, if you start to feel discouraged. Don’t force it just enjoy it. The outcome will be so much better. Do it with care in every step of the way. The plants will grow well. Keep doing what you love and don’t ever stop. What is success to you? Listen to critics, yes, but don’t let critics posess you. Everyone has different paths and remember that noone will love you more than you and so very few would be truly happy for you to see you rise. It would be foolish to worship critics and take it to heart. You keep doing what you do, what you love, keep experimenting, whatever it is and whatever the outcome, it’s a success.


To Love and To Care

Can love and care be separated? Do they always have to come together and appear together? Can you love without care, or care without love?

I love people around me in the elements that they are, I try to see the good in them rather than the negative. But I don’t care much. It sounds bad, doesn’t it? I have to try to come to terms with this and live with this. I am actually fine with it, you know. To love but not to care. I cared, I got hurt, I stopped. Same old story hey?

I’ll be there for people when they need and everything, but I would choose not to care if they stopped contacting me, talk bad about me, or hate me. I used to care too much it almost killed me. I was even too scared to breathe too hard, I was afraid I’d be doing something wrong and upset people, I was afraid of being hated, my insecurities grew bigger and I grew smaller and smaller. It took so, oh so long, for me to grow back up and brave enough to walk straight and talk straight. I will NOT give this up by starting to care too much again. EVER. That lesson I learned came in such a high price and I paid. Through all the tears and self loathing, self destruction in every way. My thoughts were killing me everyday. I never thought I would live past that really, it was a matter of “if” but “when” I would take my own life to make everyone happy.

Yes I have paid. I have found myself again. I would never let that go. Therefore I will love with all my heart, but I will not care. I will know that every action I do is with good intentions and that is all I need to know.

A quote from American Beauty that I re-watch on my a flight the other day (the movie makes more sense to me now than in 1999 when it was released though), at the end of the movie, Lester Burnham says:

“I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life… You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry… you will someday.”

Yes, there is so much beauty in this world. I cannot agree more. Believe it or not it is free for you to enjoy, that’s the even more beauty of it. There is still so much to be grateful for that I could choke. All of this can happen with love… and not so much with having to care…

How about you?



มาดู 5 สิ่งควรระวังสำหรับลายเซ็นของเรากัน

รู้ไหมว่าลายเซ็นนั้นมีอิทธิพลกับชีวิตเราด้วยนะ และยังสามารถเป็นอุปสรรคกับชีวิตเราโดยที่เราไม่รู้ตัวอีกด้วย เพราะลายมือ หรือลายเซ็นนั้น เราเป็นคนคิดเอง เขียนเอง เซ็นเอง มันออกมาจากใจ จากความคิด และแสดงความเป็นตัวเรามากที่สุด เพราะฉนั้นลายเซ็นที่ดีก็จะส่งเสริมชีวิตของเราให้ดีได้ในทุกด้าน ในทางตรงกันข้ามลายเซ็นที่มีส่วนเสียก็เป็นอุปสรรคให้กับเราเช่นเดียวกัน หลายคนก็คงไม่เชื่อ ว่าแค่เปลี่ยนลายเซ็นมันเปลี่ยนชีวิตได้เลยหรอ ตอบว่าได้แน่นอน แต่มากน้อยไม่เท่ากัน เพราะสุดท้ายตัวเราเองค่ะที่เป็นคนกำหนด ทุกอย่างที่เหลือเป็นตัวช่วย ซึ่งถ้าตัวช่วยดี มันก็จะช่วยเราได้มากกว่าไม่มีตัวช่วยเลยนะคะ
เรามาดูกันดีกว่าค่ะ ว่า 5 สิ่งที่ไม่ควรมีในลายเซ็นของเรานั้นคืออะไรบ้าง
1. คานทับลายเซ็น

ส่วนใหญ่ที่พบจะเป็น สระอิ ไม้การันต์ หรือตัว T และอาจจะมีแบบอื่นๆที่เวลาเราเซ็นเราใช้วีธีขีดเส้นยาวแบบ 180 องศา อันนี้คือคานบนลายเซ็นของเราค่ะ เป็นอุปสรรคทางความคิดทำให้ความคิดเราแคบและโอกาสต่างๆที่ไม่สามารถเข้ามาหาเราได้เพราะมีคานทับอยู่ ควรกำจัดคานออกไปนะคะ
2. กำแพงกั้นหน้าชื่อ

อันนี้จะพบในคนที่มีชื่อขึ้นต้นด้วยสระเอ สระโอ เป็นต้นค่ะ แต่ก็จะพบได้ในการเซ็นอีกมากมายเลยที่เราจะขึ้นต้นลายเซ็นด้วยการขีดเส้น 1 เส้นไว้หน้าลายเซ็น อันนี้เป็นลักษณะของกำแพงนะคะ อุปสรรคใหญ่หลวงสำหรับชีวิตเลย จะทำให้เหนื่อยกว่าจะได้ทุกสิ่งมา หรืออาจจะไม่ได้เพราะเรายอมแพ้ก่อน เพราะต้องปีนกำแพงทุกครั้งสินะเมื่อจะทำอะไร ความก้าวหน้าของชีวิตการงานก็จะถูกบดบังด้วยกำแพง ระวังตรงนี้กันดีๆนะคะ
3. เซ็นตัวอักษรติดกันหมด 

ชีวิตคนเราต้องมีช่องว่างส่วนตัวบ้าง ลายเซ็นก็เหมือนกันค่ะ ถ้าคุณเซ็นติดกันหมด รู้สึกบ้างมั้ยคะว่าไม่ค่อยมีเวลาเป็นของตัวเอง เรื่องของเราทุกคนรู้ เรื่องของคนอื่นเราก็รู้หมดเช่นกัน บางทีก็นำความเดือดร้อนมาให้ทั้งที่ไม่เกี่ยวกับเรา ดังนั้นควรมีช่องว่างระหว่างตัวอักษรแรกและตัวต่อๆไป เพื่อที่เราจะได้มีชีวิตเป็นส่วนตัวบ้าง จะได้ไม่เหนื่อยมากเกินไปกับเรื่องที่ไม่จำเป็นกับชีวิตของเรา
4. ลายเซ็นลาดลงต่ำ

ข้อนี้ก็สำคัญค่ะ ลายเซ็นก็เหมือนการเดินทางของชีวิตเรา ถ้าลาดลงต่ำ ก็เหมือนการเริ่มต้นได้ดี แต่ก็มีเรื่องให้เป็นอันสิ้นสุดไปได้ง่ายๆ ชีวิตคนเราต้องเดินไปเรื่อยๆแล้วเรียนรู้จากประสบการณ์ต่างๆให้ชีวิตดีขึ้น ระดับชีวิตสติปัญญาต้องดีขึ้น ไม่ควรยิ่งเดินยิ่งเหนื่อย ยิ่งเดินยิ่งแย่นะคะ
5. เส้นใต้ที่ไม่มั่นคง

หลายๆครั้งเราก็จะเห็นลายเซ็นที่มีเส้นใต้ ซึ่งก็จะเหมือนพื้นที่เรายืนอยู่ เราก็คงจะไม่อยากจะยืนบนพื้นที่ไม่ให้ความรู้สึกมั่นคง การขีดเส้นใต้จึงมีความสำคัญเรื่องความมั่นคงของการใช้ชีวิตและการตัดสินใจ ความมุ่งมั่น ที่จะทำสิ่งต่างๆให้สำเร็จ ซึ่งคงเป็นการยากที่จะทำได้หากว่าพื้นที่เรายืนอยู่ไม่มั่นคง 
และนี่ก็คือ 5 สิ่งที่วันนี้จะขอนำมาแบ่งปันให้ผู้อ่านได้สังเกตลายเซ็นของตัวเองดูและสามารถลองนำไปปรับใช้ตามความเหมาะสม อย่าลืมว่าลายเซ็นมาจากใจ ปรับลายเซ็นก็เหมือนปรับใจเรา ปรับใจเราได้ชีวิตเราก็เปลี่ยนแปลงได้เช่นกันค่ะ  
(ผู้เขียนจะขอมอบเครดิตวิชาความรู้นี้ให้กับอาจารย์ผู้สอน อ.ชลันทรี จันทร์คล้าย)

I dreamt of a black Unicorn

I would have to start off saying that I’m no Unicorn-ish girl or woman. I don’t relate with Unicorns, although surely they are beautiful and majestic mythical creature. I am more in love with little winged creatures like fairys, faeries, faes or whatever else they are called. Even with my tarot cards selection, I love the fairies collection. 

But how strange it is that I dreamt of a Unicorn last night out of nowhere. And not even a white one. It was a grand, black, majestic Unicorn being groomed in front of me by… I wasn’t entirely sure who, but some 2 beautiful people with long, curl, golden hair that I can’t really associate with anyone in my real life. 

While being groomed, the glitters from the Unicorn’s body would just spread around the area and the glitter on its body became even more sparkle, blue and purple ish colours. It was really beautiful. Then after a few moments they all walked away in another direction from where I stood. 

I was mostly stunned and just stood there and watched. There were no conversations. It was a pretty magical setting. Although I don’t know why when I woke up this morning I felt something was out of balance. 

Anyways, I looked up the meaning of this dream and there were a couple of different meanings, positive and negative from different sources. But choosing to believe what I would prefer to believe, and taking the meaning that I can relate to with my current situation, I chose to go with this one 
The black unicorn in the dream, symbolizes strength, power that you have. You are now on the right way and you are moving toward your goals. The black unicorn is associated with power to overcome all the barriers that you meet in your way of perfect life.


Well, hopefully so 🙂 I am putting my faith in this meaning. Fingers crossed.

Life’s Paths

When I was younger, I have been so arrogant, so ignorance and disrespectful. Now I look back and thinking it’s because I was young and naive. I didn’t know, about growing up, being adults and issues that people have inside, issues people have to deal with and that people are different.

Growing up, I lived with my dad and stepmom. They were business people. I think the world of them. I look up to them and always hated myself for not being as smart or as cunning or as anything. I always admire how they dress nicely and went out for social dinners and gatherings. How they can always read people and how to deal with them. I admire how they built things, manage things and were able to afford to live a really good life. They had earned money from businesses to raise all of us kids and able to afford family trips and holidays, and whatever we needed at all, they can make it happen. I felt like I was in a magic place where things just happen when my dad and stepmom waved their wands. (Although one of the somewhat down sides of this privilege is that I tend to be lazy in organising things or starting things because I think that it will be taken care of in the end)

In the other hand, my own mom. In my memories or in any regards I have of her is weakness. I used to love her, I remember, at some point but then some events happened and things changed. She no longer was my hero. From a child’s point of view who still thinks their parents are superhuman. My own mom, in my point of view, became a selfish, weak, maniac person that I lost all respect for. Believe it or not, even though now I have grown up and understand a few more things about life, I still continuously have to fix this perception about her. My own mom isn’t my priority. Her requests are doubtful to me. I doubt her real intentions. I doubt who she really is deep inside. All my weakness, my naivity, my passivity, my negative traits and I possess a lot of them I blame it all on her. Physically and mentally. This is still my ongoing issue until today. Sometimes I feel sorry, but this perception has rooted so, so deep it’s almost instinctive. I have always despised my mom for being so nice and weak to other people. I have always despised my mom for being a useless housewife who doesn’t fight for herself, when she keeps whining about things to me.

But today, now, although I am still in an ongoing process about issues with my own mom. Atleast I understand her more. That people are just different and my mother is another plain simple woman. In her weakness that I mostly can see, she has her strengths too that I choose not to see. It’s not right or wrong. It’s who she is. That’s it. She whines a lot but she is happy! Strange as it sounds. People just wants someone to listen to. For my mom I guess that person is me, among others like her sisters. And I realised that there is nothing wrong about being nice to avoid headbutts. And I realise being a housewife is a great job too! (And not an easy or useless one at all)

I have always burden myself to match up with my dad and stepmom, about being able to earn a lot of money and have my own business before having kids so I can provide what I had to them. But what if it’s not me. Trying to do something or be someone who is not me. I refused who I am and I don’t embrace who I am. What if my path is different. What a relieve this thought has brought to me! FREEDOM! To look for my own path! How exciting idea it is. How scary it is, a little, just because I’ve always been a person who’s scared of new beginnings and non-comfort zone (even if this comfort zone is not so comfort, if you know what I mean).

So what, if I don’t make as much money as my parents, I’ll aim to make enough to survive. I’m sure I can still wave some magic wands for my kids. Children (or as I was) do not need much. They need love. And that’s free for sure. They need security that they are taken care of. Not the insecure feeling of abandonment, like I felt from my own mom and parents while growing up. Which was the beginning of all hell of chaos. And when children grow up, they can go ahead and look for their own paths and purpose in life knowing that we, the parents, are fully behind them. Life should be about happiness and joy to live. I hope to achieve that. Fulfulilling myself from my own needs. I should already have it all within me to bring forth and let myself be the guide.

Ears 4n Eye Project By Mosquito Movement

In regards to the Mosquito Movement projects, I try to set a goal that there has to be at least 1 solid fundraising project that I would take time with it, plan and promote and create something to raise funds from. Some previous examples like the Wonderheart project where we designed scarfs and sold them to raise funds for a heart surgery in a kid patient. That one was a great success because a child really received an operation from the funds that we raised, and he will be better, stronger and will be able to live his childhood with memorable and happy experiences that every child is supposed to experience.

Another project was an auction activity that we raised different prizes or items from different donation and auction them to buy milk for kids in orphanage. The other one was a body scrub project, to raise funds and donate to another child operation charity organization.

So for this year, I accidentally came across an organisation which is all about eye operation, helping the elderly and children in rural areas of the country to see more clearly, whether by operation or other kinds of treatment. Well, it is needless to say that to be able to see is quite important for everyone. In many cases, the lower income – mid income families, everyone has to work to contribute whether they are the grandma, grandpa or the grand children. So to help everyone in the family to be able to see would help the family to have another hand for their income contribution. This can further reduce many other problems that could follow such as low self esteem of being the family’s burden, harder work for the children which might cause them not to be able to go to school etc. In conclusion, this year’s project for Mosquito Movement begins with “Ears 4n Eye” project, to raise funds for People Eye Care Foundation.

Ears 4n Eye means we create handmade earrings, made from glass beads, crystals, pearls and meaningful stones, with each individual unique design only for the ones who bought them. There are no duplicates, so everyone can be unique, and the profit from the earrings all go to PECF. The project is estimated to last about 2 months, hoping to raise at least THB 8,000 because the cost for operating 1 patient is approximately that amount. So Mosquito Movement hopes to contribute to help at least 1 person. You wear them on your ears and it contributes to improve others eyes.

Ears 4n Eye earrings collection can be found on Mosquito Movement’s Facebook page by click here bit.ly/BrandRavissadaforMosquitoMovement

A few samples are in the gallery 😉

Enjoy, and hopefully you will be interested to contribute to Ears 4n Eye with us

❤ Mosquito Movement

Animals and Devil

We are animals living among animals

We are no Saint and don’t say we are just human. Because human have conscious and they can distinguish good behavior to bad and they can choose wise. Humans are able to decide for themselves.

Animals act on instincts, experiences, conditioning or how they were trained. Inflicting violent on each other, living on fear and survival.

We all have animals and devil in us. Depends on whether we act upon it and how much we act upon it everyday. Everytime you judge another, frown at another, raise your voice at another, hurting another, it’s the animal taking over. When you start inflicting pain, fear, abusing others emotionally, the devil is taking over.

You can be the hunter or the victim at anytime. Every man has that power, they can choose to just acknowledge it, use it or abuse it.

A life you treasure so much can just be gone in any second, poof! And it’s only an empty space where you used to stand. Everything you held so high or worked so hard for will become meaningless. Fade. Forgotten. Including you and your existence.

Life has meaning so long as we give to it and exactly as we give it. We have that power too. To give meaning to our lives or not at all and it’s different meaning for everyone. Since our time here is so short and unpredictable, we might as well give it a good one and be useful just while we are here. Choose wisely about what you want to treasure, hold high and work hard for. Because your chances can be limited. You can choose again to make the most out of it or not at all. Control your life or be controlled.

It feels like a game, you sort of know something and you sort of never know anything, waking up each day navigating through life, hoping that you will get through the day safe and be able to go home to your own bed tonight with your eyes fully shut. This is the life here on earth. The world’s a stage and we are just the players. If you are able to watch your life from afar, you will realize too that you are a player, an actor playing your role, a spec of dust that can be wiped off at anytime.

I hope we all wake up some time. From the animal and the devil within us and be free from them.


(This post was inspired by St. Petersburg bombing 3.4.17)

My soul’s light

You have brought light to my soul

I was forever immersed in darkness, despair and so lost

With the light you brought stregth, I can feel love, I can feel freedom

Now that my soul knows what light is

It will never turn back to darkness

Even in the darkest of all days

My soul will find light

My soul will know light

My soul will stay in the light


วันนี้หลังเลิกเรียนก็กินข้าวร้านตามสั่งตามปกติ วันนี้ไม่อยากกินสุกี้แห้งเหมือนครั้งก่อนๆ เลยลองสั่งอย่างอื่นกินดูบ้าง ก็มาจบที่ผัดพริกหยวกกุ้งที่มีกุ้งยุ่ยๆ 3 ตัวเล็กๆแต่ก็เอาน่ะหยวนๆจานละ 40 บาทเองคิดไรมากเนอะ กินอิ่มเอนจอยแล้วก็ไม่อยากขึ้นแทกซี่เลยจริงๆ พยายามจะคิดหาทางไหนดีเลยเปิดกูเกิ้ลแมพว่าจะไปทางไหนดีนาาา ปรากฎว่าเพิ่งจะรู้ว่าถ้าเดินไปอีกทางก็จะถึงท่าเทเวศร์และย่านที่เราชอบนี่ ขอยืมคำฮิมมาใช้นิดนึงว่า นี่มันโง่นี่นา! 555 มาเรียนตั้งกี่ครั้งแล้วเพิ่งจะรู้จริงๆไม่งั้นเลิกเรียนก็มีที่ไปละไม่ต้องรีบขึ้นแทกซี่ก็ได้ ก็เลยถือโอกาสเดินย่อยไปทางท่าเทเวศร์ แต่ไม่ได้ปล่อยปลาเหมือนทุกทีเพราะจุดนี้เริ่มไม่แน่ใจว่าบุญหรือบาปเลยเลือกไม่ทำละกัน อากาศตอน 4 โมงกว่าๆนั้นก็ยังร้อนเหลือหลาย แแต่เราก็เดินไปเรื่อยเห็นร้านรวงอะไรมากมายทั้งเก่าทั้งใหม่ บรรยากาศแบบเก่าๆผสมกับสิ่งใหม่ๆการตกแต่งใหม่ๆสลับกันไป เราชอบย่านนี้มากมาเดินเล่นทีไรรู้สึกเหมือนได้ชาร์จแบตมันเพลินมากและก็มีพลังงานที่ดีนะ เรารู้สึกอย่างงั้น พวกนักเดินทาง ความรู้สึกอิสระ ความเป็นตัวเอง อะไรพวกนี้

วันนี้ตอนที่เรียนอาจารย์พูดถึงผลลงานของอาจารย์อังคาร ซึ่งก็น่าอายนิดหน่อยที่เราไม่รู้จักท่านเลย อาจารย์บอกว่าให้ลองไปอ่านบทกลอนของท่านชื่อ “เสียเจ้า” แล้วจะสัมผัสความเป็นศิลปินของท่าน เราก็เสิร์ชอ่านหลังเลิกเรียน พออ่านแล้วมันกินใจมากเลยนะ ท่านไม่ได้ใช้ภาษายากเลยแต่มันลึกซึ้งเข้าถึงความหมายความรู้สึก มันเหนือจริงๆนะ เพราะเป็นกวีเรื่องใกล้ตัวบ้านๆมากคือเรื่องอกหัก เจ็บปวดจากความรักที่ไม่สมหวังซึ่งใครๆก็เคยเป็นกันแต่ท่านเอามาเขียนเป็นกวีได้บาดมากก็เลยอยากเอามาเก็บไว้ที่บล็อกนี้ด้วย


ท่านอังคาร กัลยาณพงศ์








Until next time…

Does this make sense?

If thinking big scares you, think small, go small but keep going

it’s ok to start small and think small, I’m just trying to side with myself now

And be prepared for not reaching the level of success you had hoped for, be prepared for rejection. It just happens. Don’t beat yourself. If this didn’t work out, dust it off and try again. Same old songs, people have been singing it forever, but you will never feel it until it’s your turn to face it and go through it.

Take it all in, these experience, dust it off and try again. You will come out stronger and smarter and wiser

Sometimes these donations and fund raising projects I love to do because it makes me feel like I exist. And I am doing something to prove it by trying to change people’s lives. Me, myself cannot change people’s lives of course but what I am hoping to do is ease their life and  their pain so that hopefully they can continue to fight in this sometimes cruel world. Nobody wants to be ignored, forgotten or treated with cruelty, but it happens all the time!

Now why do you think the world is so cruel, is because you have expectations even if you say you don’t but when you say the world is cruel, probably means you had an expectation that world should be a kind place. But there is no “cruel” or there is no “kind” it is just the reality of good and bad and the way it is. When you are being as straight as an arrow to people and you are being honest and you are doing everything you can to make people feel good. It is not written in any rules that they will do the same for you. I do get sad a lot of times, but that’s okay. Because you have to learn to accept, change the things you can but if you don’t bother to change then you accept it it instead of asking the question why don’t things go the way you want. Did you fight hard enough? Did you approach it the right way? and etcetera. I admit that I might be better off if I change a few behaviors, the way I speak and my attitude. But so long that I know yet I refuse to change even  little, then I will not  complain about it. I’d accept it and that’s all to it.Because you know what? What you do that you thin is so right, might be so wrong in people’s eyes too. So yes, let it go.

My point is, even you think the world needs to be saved, the world might think otherwise. Not everyone shares your thoughts and passion, that why the word “search” is there. You search for people who share your thoughts and passion and then you would find your place in the world. Sometimes you try to save the world, or others, they might not need it. Don’t let yourself be in the wrong situation. So go where it is needed, and what you try to achieve will count. Don’t beat yourself down trying to make a stand where you will be alone. It’s simply just not the right place for you.

Go find the place and people that fits.. GO!