Mosquito Movement October 2017

So I kind of just realised that I should share more of my travels & activities since it’s been a while. Maybe we should pause the dark sombre ambiance of my blog for a little while and go for something light 🙂 It’s not always dark in here I swear.

So let’s start with the most recent project. (I forgot to update on the Ears4nEye project too, that one was a success with funds raised at THB 8000 something enough for 1 patient’s eye operation)

This recent one was introduced to me by my friend, Rosie, tagged me this post on Facebook about a caring home for disabled here in Bangkok. I didn’t research much more about it but it seems we can help and off we began! There was not really a big project for this one but I raised from the usual activities like baking and tarot reading and also just simply announced it and many people in my Facebook page re really kind. I admire their kind hearts ❤ So from all of the activities and donation we raised about 4500 Baht and went shopping for the possible necessities they would need. We spent half and the other half we offered for their free use for their other needs.

Sometimes we can question.. Isn’t this the government’s job to take care of all the people who can’t? That can be one idea, but the other idea is it is our common duty anyway to help one another regardless of their abilities or disabilities. All human beings need help once in a while in their lifetime for sure. So we do what we can. And that’s better than we do nothing at all.

Next project is coming up! This time is to gather clothes & necessities to people who are living very far away in the mountains with no access to basic needs. We can’t bring these things to them by ourselves as where they live is really far but thank god someone is willing to go. So we can help them in gathering the things for them to bring over. That we can definitely do. This would be completed by end of this month (October 2017)

What we raised from this project will be saved for next project as well. Operation Smile Thailand. I won’t write much yet. I can write more about them when I update the project’s completion. But that’s in the plan. I’m hoping my dad would agree on this as he holds winter concerts in out hometown Pattaya. If he would do it again this year we can make it a charity concert and I’ll ask to jam a couple of songs. Let’s see how that will go and better get practicing!

Some phtos from the caring home project right here 🙂 If you come across the page and would like to join for any activities please feel free to contact me via the facebook page www.facebook.com/mosquitomovement

Thank you ❤ I’d love to hear from you.

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Growing.

I have kind of understood now and I am able to forgive now. I think they did it unknowingly, unintentionally. The scars are there but wounds are healed. No need to always keep cutting them open. Just leave it be.

It used to be all points checked, but now I got better 🙂 I can live with my flaws and glories (if any .. See? 😉 there is one point).

I realised that I’m “ok”.

http://awarenessact.com/26ss-things-you-do-as-an-adult-when-youve-experienced-childhood-emotional-abuse/?=ta

13 October 2017

13 of October since last year has become a mourning day in Thailand. But for me all my life it has been my father’s birthday and it still is my father’s birthday.

This year, 13th October has arrived again 🙂 and I would like to wish my dad a happy birthday (even if he hates his birthdays 😛)

Happy birthday to the most extraordinary person on this planet ❤ (for me)

My first and forever love. If in my whole life I never had a wish come true, atleast one did since the day I was born, because I was born your daughter. It is my privilege and adventure that I treasure every breathing moment. I love you daddy .. So much you have NO IDEA!

I wish you great health and may your everyday filled with only happiness.

Kisses,

Your first girl, Panida ❤

The battle of confusing contradictions

How is it that you want to be everywhere..But nowhere at the same time

How is it that you want to do everything.. And nothing at the same time

How is it that you feel so happy.. But so sad at the same time

How is it that you feel fine.. But so stupid at the same time

How is it that you are not even in a race.. But feel like losing all the time

How is it that you look forward to the future.. But hold on so tightly to the past.. Actually not really wanting to wake up for another day

How is it that you admire people .. But just wanting to be alone

How is it that you think you know where you are going… But feeling lost all the time

How is it that you see the beauty in living… But want to get away, far away at the same time

How is it that you love but do not know how to share.. Afraid to care .. Not wanting to care at the same time

How is it that you want something but you don’t know what it is.. Desperately looking .. Longingly waiting for that thing to come..

Restless all the time in your head … What is it .. Where is it… Where is it .. Where is it …

Empty and lost … Retreating to a dream where there is peace, silence and beauty and free.. Only songs of nature and music and me

What is success?

This topic has been in my mind for the last few days. Everytime when things don’t go the way I wish then I feel like a failure, a loser, totally unworthy. But, But, But, But!! I have learned the lesson of beating myself up. It does no good to nothing. If I still feel like living, I should not hurt myself. I won’t let my thoughts spiral me down the dark path, it’s tiring, I’ve been there, don’t feel like going there again. Then the thoughts stopped. Then instead I thought of what I have accomplished so far. Success never come overnight right? And if it does, this kind won’t last, the 15 minute of fame kind. If you hear an overnight success story that lasts more than 15 minutes, I’m almost certain it hasn’t been an overnight thing. It has been through a long, long process, rolling through many pain and tears and disappointment and falls and rises. So, when things don’t go the way I wish, then I tried to think back. Maybe my thoughts are way faster than the process. Maybe I haven’t done enough, there are things yet to complete to earn the “grand” success or whatever. But so far, I certainly have done more than yesterday. Every little accomplishment counts in this ongoing life resume. If you dismiss little things and only wait for the big thing to be worthy of noting it down, I think you will become so discouraged before even getting half way there. You probably would fold and curl back beating yourself. So it’s much better this way. Be proud of your accomplishments regardless of how small, don’t forget why you started it in the first place. Don’t get lost in the destination that you lost track of where or why or how you began. Find the love in what you do again, if you start to feel discouraged. Don’t force it just enjoy it. The outcome will be so much better. Do it with care in every step of the way. The plants will grow well. Keep doing what you love and don’t ever stop. What is success to you? Listen to critics, yes, but don’t let critics posess you. Everyone has different paths and remember that noone will love you more than you and so very few would be truly happy for you to see you rise. It would be foolish to worship critics and take it to heart. You keep doing what you do, what you love, keep experimenting, whatever it is and whatever the outcome, it’s a success.

To Love and To Care

Can love and care be separated? Do they always have to come together and appear together? Can you love without care, or care without love?

I love people around me in the elements that they are, I try to see the good in them rather than the negative. But I don’t care much. It sounds bad, doesn’t it? I have to try to come to terms with this and live with this. I am actually fine with it, you know. To love but not to care. I cared, I got hurt, I stopped. Same old story hey?

I’ll be there for people when they need and everything, but I would choose not to care if they stopped contacting me, talk bad about me, or hate me. I used to care too much it almost killed me. I was even too scared to breathe too hard, I was afraid I’d be doing something wrong and upset people, I was afraid of being hated, my insecurities grew bigger and I grew smaller and smaller. It took so, oh so long, for me to grow back up and brave enough to walk straight and talk straight. I will NOT give this up by starting to care too much again. EVER. That lesson I learned came in such a high price and I paid. Through all the tears and self loathing, self destruction in every way. My thoughts were killing me everyday. I never thought I would live past that really, it was a matter of “if” but “when” I would take my own life to make everyone happy.

Yes I have paid. I have found myself again. I would never let that go. Therefore I will love with all my heart, but I will not care. I will know that every action I do is with good intentions and that is all I need to know.

A quote from American Beauty that I re-watch on my a flight the other day (the movie makes more sense to me now than in 1999 when it was released though), at the end of the movie, Lester Burnham says:

“I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life… You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry… you will someday.”

Yes, there is so much beauty in this world. I cannot agree more. Believe it or not it is free for you to enjoy, that’s the even more beauty of it. There is still so much to be grateful for that I could choke. All of this can happen with love… and not so much with having to care…

How about you?

 

​ลายเซ็นของเราส่งเสริมเราหรือไม่?? 

มาดู 5 สิ่งควรระวังสำหรับลายเซ็นของเรากัน

รู้ไหมว่าลายเซ็นนั้นมีอิทธิพลกับชีวิตเราด้วยนะ และยังสามารถเป็นอุปสรรคกับชีวิตเราโดยที่เราไม่รู้ตัวอีกด้วย เพราะลายมือ หรือลายเซ็นนั้น เราเป็นคนคิดเอง เขียนเอง เซ็นเอง มันออกมาจากใจ จากความคิด และแสดงความเป็นตัวเรามากที่สุด เพราะฉนั้นลายเซ็นที่ดีก็จะส่งเสริมชีวิตของเราให้ดีได้ในทุกด้าน ในทางตรงกันข้ามลายเซ็นที่มีส่วนเสียก็เป็นอุปสรรคให้กับเราเช่นเดียวกัน หลายคนก็คงไม่เชื่อ ว่าแค่เปลี่ยนลายเซ็นมันเปลี่ยนชีวิตได้เลยหรอ ตอบว่าได้แน่นอน แต่มากน้อยไม่เท่ากัน เพราะสุดท้ายตัวเราเองค่ะที่เป็นคนกำหนด ทุกอย่างที่เหลือเป็นตัวช่วย ซึ่งถ้าตัวช่วยดี มันก็จะช่วยเราได้มากกว่าไม่มีตัวช่วยเลยนะคะ
เรามาดูกันดีกว่าค่ะ ว่า 5 สิ่งที่ไม่ควรมีในลายเซ็นของเรานั้นคืออะไรบ้าง
1. คานทับลายเซ็น

ส่วนใหญ่ที่พบจะเป็น สระอิ ไม้การันต์ หรือตัว T และอาจจะมีแบบอื่นๆที่เวลาเราเซ็นเราใช้วีธีขีดเส้นยาวแบบ 180 องศา อันนี้คือคานบนลายเซ็นของเราค่ะ เป็นอุปสรรคทางความคิดทำให้ความคิดเราแคบและโอกาสต่างๆที่ไม่สามารถเข้ามาหาเราได้เพราะมีคานทับอยู่ ควรกำจัดคานออกไปนะคะ
2. กำแพงกั้นหน้าชื่อ

อันนี้จะพบในคนที่มีชื่อขึ้นต้นด้วยสระเอ สระโอ เป็นต้นค่ะ แต่ก็จะพบได้ในการเซ็นอีกมากมายเลยที่เราจะขึ้นต้นลายเซ็นด้วยการขีดเส้น 1 เส้นไว้หน้าลายเซ็น อันนี้เป็นลักษณะของกำแพงนะคะ อุปสรรคใหญ่หลวงสำหรับชีวิตเลย จะทำให้เหนื่อยกว่าจะได้ทุกสิ่งมา หรืออาจจะไม่ได้เพราะเรายอมแพ้ก่อน เพราะต้องปีนกำแพงทุกครั้งสินะเมื่อจะทำอะไร ความก้าวหน้าของชีวิตการงานก็จะถูกบดบังด้วยกำแพง ระวังตรงนี้กันดีๆนะคะ
3. เซ็นตัวอักษรติดกันหมด 

ชีวิตคนเราต้องมีช่องว่างส่วนตัวบ้าง ลายเซ็นก็เหมือนกันค่ะ ถ้าคุณเซ็นติดกันหมด รู้สึกบ้างมั้ยคะว่าไม่ค่อยมีเวลาเป็นของตัวเอง เรื่องของเราทุกคนรู้ เรื่องของคนอื่นเราก็รู้หมดเช่นกัน บางทีก็นำความเดือดร้อนมาให้ทั้งที่ไม่เกี่ยวกับเรา ดังนั้นควรมีช่องว่างระหว่างตัวอักษรแรกและตัวต่อๆไป เพื่อที่เราจะได้มีชีวิตเป็นส่วนตัวบ้าง จะได้ไม่เหนื่อยมากเกินไปกับเรื่องที่ไม่จำเป็นกับชีวิตของเรา
4. ลายเซ็นลาดลงต่ำ

ข้อนี้ก็สำคัญค่ะ ลายเซ็นก็เหมือนการเดินทางของชีวิตเรา ถ้าลาดลงต่ำ ก็เหมือนการเริ่มต้นได้ดี แต่ก็มีเรื่องให้เป็นอันสิ้นสุดไปได้ง่ายๆ ชีวิตคนเราต้องเดินไปเรื่อยๆแล้วเรียนรู้จากประสบการณ์ต่างๆให้ชีวิตดีขึ้น ระดับชีวิตสติปัญญาต้องดีขึ้น ไม่ควรยิ่งเดินยิ่งเหนื่อย ยิ่งเดินยิ่งแย่นะคะ
5. เส้นใต้ที่ไม่มั่นคง

หลายๆครั้งเราก็จะเห็นลายเซ็นที่มีเส้นใต้ ซึ่งก็จะเหมือนพื้นที่เรายืนอยู่ เราก็คงจะไม่อยากจะยืนบนพื้นที่ไม่ให้ความรู้สึกมั่นคง การขีดเส้นใต้จึงมีความสำคัญเรื่องความมั่นคงของการใช้ชีวิตและการตัดสินใจ ความมุ่งมั่น ที่จะทำสิ่งต่างๆให้สำเร็จ ซึ่งคงเป็นการยากที่จะทำได้หากว่าพื้นที่เรายืนอยู่ไม่มั่นคง 
และนี่ก็คือ 5 สิ่งที่วันนี้จะขอนำมาแบ่งปันให้ผู้อ่านได้สังเกตลายเซ็นของตัวเองดูและสามารถลองนำไปปรับใช้ตามความเหมาะสม อย่าลืมว่าลายเซ็นมาจากใจ ปรับลายเซ็นก็เหมือนปรับใจเรา ปรับใจเราได้ชีวิตเราก็เปลี่ยนแปลงได้เช่นกันค่ะ  
(ผู้เขียนจะขอมอบเครดิตวิชาความรู้นี้ให้กับอาจารย์ผู้สอน อ.ชลันทรี จันทร์คล้าย)

I dreamt of a black Unicorn

I would have to start off saying that I’m no Unicorn-ish girl or woman. I don’t relate with Unicorns, although surely they are beautiful and majestic mythical creature. I am more in love with little winged creatures like fairys, faeries, faes or whatever else they are called. Even with my tarot cards selection, I love the fairies collection. 

But how strange it is that I dreamt of a Unicorn last night out of nowhere. And not even a white one. It was a grand, black, majestic Unicorn being groomed in front of me by… I wasn’t entirely sure who, but some 2 beautiful people with long, curl, golden hair that I can’t really associate with anyone in my real life. 

While being groomed, the glitters from the Unicorn’s body would just spread around the area and the glitter on its body became even more sparkle, blue and purple ish colours. It was really beautiful. Then after a few moments they all walked away in another direction from where I stood. 

I was mostly stunned and just stood there and watched. There were no conversations. It was a pretty magical setting. Although I don’t know why when I woke up this morning I felt something was out of balance. 

Anyways, I looked up the meaning of this dream and there were a couple of different meanings, positive and negative from different sources. But choosing to believe what I would prefer to believe, and taking the meaning that I can relate to with my current situation, I chose to go with this one 
The black unicorn in the dream, symbolizes strength, power that you have. You are now on the right way and you are moving toward your goals. The black unicorn is associated with power to overcome all the barriers that you meet in your way of perfect life.

Dreamsnest.com

Well, hopefully so 🙂 I am putting my faith in this meaning. Fingers crossed.

Life’s Paths

When I was younger, I have been so arrogant, so ignorance and disrespectful. Now I look back and thinking it’s because I was young and naive. I didn’t know, about growing up, being adults and issues that people have inside, issues people have to deal with and that people are different.

Growing up, I lived with my dad and stepmom. They were business people. I think the world of them. I look up to them and always hated myself for not being as smart or as cunning or as anything. I always admire how they dress nicely and went out for social dinners and gatherings. How they can always read people and how to deal with them. I admire how they built things, manage things and were able to afford to live a really good life. They had earned money from businesses to raise all of us kids and able to afford family trips and holidays, and whatever we needed at all, they can make it happen. I felt like I was in a magic place where things just happen when my dad and stepmom waved their wands. (Although one of the somewhat down sides of this privilege is that I tend to be lazy in organising things or starting things because I think that it will be taken care of in the end)

In the other hand, my own mom. In my memories or in any regards I have of her is weakness. I used to love her, I remember, at some point but then some events happened and things changed. She no longer was my hero. From a child’s point of view who still thinks their parents are superhuman. My own mom, in my point of view, became a selfish, weak, maniac person that I lost all respect for. Believe it or not, even though now I have grown up and understand a few more things about life, I still continuously have to fix this perception about her. My own mom isn’t my priority. Her requests are doubtful to me. I doubt her real intentions. I doubt who she really is deep inside. All my weakness, my naivity, my passivity, my negative traits and I possess a lot of them I blame it all on her. Physically and mentally. This is still my ongoing issue until today. Sometimes I feel sorry, but this perception has rooted so, so deep it’s almost instinctive. I have always despised my mom for being so nice and weak to other people. I have always despised my mom for being a useless housewife who doesn’t fight for herself, when she keeps whining about things to me.

But today, now, although I am still in an ongoing process about issues with my own mom. Atleast I understand her more. That people are just different and my mother is another plain simple woman. In her weakness that I mostly can see, she has her strengths too that I choose not to see. It’s not right or wrong. It’s who she is. That’s it. She whines a lot but she is happy! Strange as it sounds. People just wants someone to listen to. For my mom I guess that person is me, among others like her sisters. And I realised that there is nothing wrong about being nice to avoid headbutts. And I realise being a housewife is a great job too! (And not an easy or useless one at all)

I have always burden myself to match up with my dad and stepmom, about being able to earn a lot of money and have my own business before having kids so I can provide what I had to them. But what if it’s not me. Trying to do something or be someone who is not me. I refused who I am and I don’t embrace who I am. What if my path is different. What a relieve this thought has brought to me! FREEDOM! To look for my own path! How exciting idea it is. How scary it is, a little, just because I’ve always been a person who’s scared of new beginnings and non-comfort zone (even if this comfort zone is not so comfort, if you know what I mean).

So what, if I don’t make as much money as my parents, I’ll aim to make enough to survive. I’m sure I can still wave some magic wands for my kids. Children (or as I was) do not need much. They need love. And that’s free for sure. They need security that they are taken care of. Not the insecure feeling of abandonment, like I felt from my own mom and parents while growing up. Which was the beginning of all hell of chaos. And when children grow up, they can go ahead and look for their own paths and purpose in life knowing that we, the parents, are fully behind them. Life should be about happiness and joy to live. I hope to achieve that. Fulfulilling myself from my own needs. I should already have it all within me to bring forth and let myself be the guide.

Ears 4n Eye Project By Mosquito Movement

In regards to the Mosquito Movement projects, I try to set a goal that there has to be at least 1 solid fundraising project that I would take time with it, plan and promote and create something to raise funds from. Some previous examples like the Wonderheart project where we designed scarfs and sold them to raise funds for a heart surgery in a kid patient. That one was a great success because a child really received an operation from the funds that we raised, and he will be better, stronger and will be able to live his childhood with memorable and happy experiences that every child is supposed to experience.

Another project was an auction activity that we raised different prizes or items from different donation and auction them to buy milk for kids in orphanage. The other one was a body scrub project, to raise funds and donate to another child operation charity organization.

So for this year, I accidentally came across an organisation which is all about eye operation, helping the elderly and children in rural areas of the country to see more clearly, whether by operation or other kinds of treatment. Well, it is needless to say that to be able to see is quite important for everyone. In many cases, the lower income – mid income families, everyone has to work to contribute whether they are the grandma, grandpa or the grand children. So to help everyone in the family to be able to see would help the family to have another hand for their income contribution. This can further reduce many other problems that could follow such as low self esteem of being the family’s burden, harder work for the children which might cause them not to be able to go to school etc. In conclusion, this year’s project for Mosquito Movement begins with “Ears 4n Eye” project, to raise funds for People Eye Care Foundation.

Ears 4n Eye means we create handmade earrings, made from glass beads, crystals, pearls and meaningful stones, with each individual unique design only for the ones who bought them. There are no duplicates, so everyone can be unique, and the profit from the earrings all go to PECF. The project is estimated to last about 2 months, hoping to raise at least THB 8,000 because the cost for operating 1 patient is approximately that amount. So Mosquito Movement hopes to contribute to help at least 1 person. You wear them on your ears and it contributes to improve others eyes.

Ears 4n Eye earrings collection can be found on Mosquito Movement’s Facebook page by click here bit.ly/BrandRavissadaforMosquitoMovement

A few samples are in the gallery 😉

Enjoy, and hopefully you will be interested to contribute to Ears 4n Eye with us

❤ Mosquito Movement